Irrefutable Facts

It is a little known fact that the creature we know as Snuffleupagus from the hit childrens’ show Sesame Street is more than he seems. He begins his life on the show as a strictly imaginary creature that only the character Big Bird can see. As the show went into a longer run this ‘Mr. Snuffleupagus’ became a real being and was visible to other characters on the show. The reason purported by Sesame Street for this materialization was to eliminate the exclusivity of friendship with Snuffy and to remove the element of Big Bird being called a liar for his talk of this character with others on the show.

Mr Snuffleupagus

The truth behind this is little known and actually quite interesting. During my research into the subject of Snuffleupagus i scheduled interviews with Big Bird in his spare time and came quickly to realize that he was a rather intelligent being. In fact, Big Bird has been studying links between theoretical physics and the occult practices of Aleister Crowley. He revealed to me that Snuffleupagus first appeared to him many years ago as he attempted to use sacred Solemnic symbols in the aiding of accelerating particles past the speed of light. This experiment was unsuccessful, but as a result the being known as Snuffleupagus presented himself to Big Bird and thus began a friendship.

Since that meeting, Snuffy had agreed to allow his image to be exposed to film recording to allow the many viewers of Sesame Street to be exposed to his being. This was all an attempt to relate the truth about the universe to the viewing audience, hoping that the children of the world would be able to understand it better than more conservative adults. Over the years in many hidden phrases and situations the truth was to be made apparent.

Unfortunately, the message was largely missed by Sesame Street fans. As a childhood Sesame Street viewer myself, i must say that the ideas did reach us, if only in a small subconscious form.

Big Bird

As our interview’s progressed, Big Bird revealed to me that truth.

Big Bird: What many of the children failed to realize is, that Snuffy was much more than they could see or hear.

Interviewer: I am not sure what you mean exactly, could you elaborate?

Big Bird: Well, being his friend and associate i know he never really wanted his message spelled out plainly. But, given the current trend in childrens’ television towards shorter attentions spans and bright colors perhaps he wouldn’t mind. Snuffleupagus, as you know him, the big friendly wooly mammoth, is only a small intrusion of a vast poly dimensional hyper-being into our universe. He is known throughout the many universes he inhabits by many names, but he has made it his duty to convey the truth about existence and the pure being to us all. In quantum physics it is theorized that gravitation is the only force that can reach and effect P-Branes parralell to its orginating Brane. This is true, but there is a deeper truth about the life force of a being, within us are pockets of super-gravty that once we are disconnected from the mortal coil we bounce from one Brane to another and manifest our being in another separate dimension. We can, however, travel between these branes voluntarily and without sacrificing our current existence on this plane. It was these secrets and the method by which one could make these journeys that he was trying to convey.

Interviewer: And what are the details of this method?

Big Bird: Snuffy always told me that these could not be conveyed in mere words and had to be understood subconsciously.

So there you have it, a secret, hidden from human eyes right in front of our faces. Perhaps we are not ready to understand the truths Mr. Snuffleupagus is trying to convey, perhaps we are unwilling. All this reporter knows is he will keep watching and listening to that big friendly wooly mammoth, who just may have the ability to free us all.

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This is an old text that has been around the internet for a while now. But i like it and it is appropriate. Enjoy.

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There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with,thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second–3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

What Santa would look like, experts say

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the “flying” reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can’t be done with eight or even nine of them—Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance – this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s.in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g’s. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he’s dead now.

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Space was traditionally thought to be a vast and perfect void. But, in the more recent years, we have discovered that it is not empty. Rather, space is filled with all sorts of dust and particles that have been previously invisible to the telescopes and probes we have sent into the great beyond.

The earth spins on its axis at an equatorial speed of approximately 465.1 m/s. This rotation combined with the earth’s mass is what keeps us all standing comfortably on the surface of the planet and holds the atmosphere that protects us from horrible radiation of the sun.

But, the earth’s rotational speed is slowing. At a very small rate, every second of the day, the tiny particles that fill the universe are causing friction against the spin of the planet, slowing it’s inertia. This rate is so minuscule that we are unlikely to notice its effects in our lifetime. In future generations, however, the effects of the slowed rotation will be more pronounced as the gravitational pull of the planet is reduced ever so slowly. Scientists theorize that by the year 4000 gravity will be reduced to .90 G, or 90% of the current gravitational pull. This will cause the moon to slowly drift out into space, widening it’s orbit until it finally leaves the earth forever. Meanwhile, here on the surface, the atmosphere will become thinner and we will begin to feel the catastrophic effects of this phenomenon. Bone and muscle degeneration, sun poisoning, children will grow taller, devices that are engineered to require gravity will stop working, and we will be able to jump slightly higher.

But if this goes unchecked, the earth will eventually stop spinning, which will be the end of mankind and indeed all life on this planet.

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