The Mayonnaise Worm
Many people believe that mayonnaise is a combination of oil, egg yolk and vinegar or lemon juice. Even wikipedia, a well known source of perfectly factual information claims it is so and has a long history and many citations to back it up. But, this is just part of a world-wide conspiracy to hide the real truth about the source of mayonnaise.
In 1654, miners in the heart of France, while searching for fresh deposits of coal, uncovered a deep cavern filled with the white sandwich spread. After weeks of clearing out the gallons of goop that filled the almost 100 thousand sq ft space they discovered the source of it all: a large white worm.
The body of the worm is 100 ft in length and almost 30ft in diameter, it’s white grub-like flesh is covered by a layer of acidic viscous liquid that allows it to burrow through solid stone and deep into the earth. It survives off of the limestone deposits that work their way through the earth’s marbled crust. The miner’s were likely horrified at the sight of the beast, but had discovered that its excretions served quite well as a tangy sandwich spread and soon became rich from its marketing. Soon such worms were discovered all around the globe and mayonnaise was available to all.
It was realized that marketing the white substance as worm spread would not bring in revenue, so a council of chefs throughout all of France was assembled. This council met in secret for months to come up with a recipe and a pact that the origin of mayonnaise would never be truly revealed, as it has been until today.